"when
i close my eyes,
my
thoughts still remain.
and as i
hold my pillow tight,
my mind
drifts farther away.
darkness
sweeps over me,
and
holds my body down.
it
ignores my plea,
so i lay
there still bound.
i'm
trapped there through the night,
no
matter how hard it gets,
i
struggle and fight to open my eyes.
i don’t want
to dream the dream,
for fear
it might come true.
and as i
sleep, my tears stream,
with
arms outstretched to you.
why must
i go through this?
why must
i feel so sad?
the
outcome is always bad…
i end up
alone,
just the
sheets, and me
shivering
from the coldness of my soul.
when can
i feel the happiness,
of a
dream i just had?
my
dreams are always the same.
a little
girl is left in the dark staring at the ceiling,
wondering
who is to blame.
i stare
reflecting upon her blazon face,
i see
the hurts of hatred, which cannot be erased
wound so
deep they've left a stain.
in her
heart i discovered a pattern of my own pain,
realizing
her concealed ones of my own shame,
i stare
as each tear falls from her lonely eyes.
i scream
out in desperation to his lifeless
body,
just
because i forgave you,
doesn't
mean i have forgotten things you did.
all
those nights that i've lain awake at night,
afraid
of my own shadow…
no, i
could not, cannot
ever
develop amnesia.
excuse
my need to feel secure again."
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