Writes..."My Mantra"

"life is short; live it like there's no tomorrow because there is no tomorrow. there is no today and there was no yesterday; time isn't defined by tenses. your life merely consists of moments; opportunities where you consciously decide you're going to live by doing, or die by not. live your life."

Presents..."Sonnet 40-43" by William Shakespeare

i like sonnets, especially shakespeare's sonnets. i've posted "sonnet 43" before but i really felt i should post "40-43". collectively, they're who i am.

"take all my loves, my love; yea, take them all.
what hast thou then more than thou hadst before?
no love, my love, that thou mayst true love call.
all mine was thine before thou hadst this more.
then if for my love thou my love receivest,
i cannot blame thee, for my love thou usest.
but yet be blamed, if thou thyself deceivest
by wilful taste of what thyself refusest.
i do forgive thy robb'ry, gentle thief,
although thou steal thee all my poverty;
and yet love knows it is a greater grief
to bear love’s wrong than hate’s known injury.
lascivious grace, in whom all ill well shows,
kill me with spites; yet we must not be foes.

those pretty wrongs that liberty commits
when i am sometime absent from thy heart,
thy beauty and thy years full well befits,
for still temptation follows where thou art.
gentle thou art, and therefore to be won;
beauteous thou art, therefore to be assailed;
and when a woman woos, what woman’s son
will sourly leave her till he have prevailed?
ay me, but yet thou might’st my seat forbear,
and chide thy beauty and thy straying youth,
who lead thee in their riot even there
where thou art forced to break a twofold truth:
hers by thy beauty tempting her to thee,
thine by thy beauty being false to me.

that thou hast her it is not all my grief,
and yet it may be said i loved her dearly;
that she hath thee is of my wailing chief,
a loss in love that touches me more nearly.
loving offenders, thus i will excuse ye:
thou dost love her because thou knowst i love her;
and for my sake even so doth she abuse me,
suff'ring my friend for my sake to approve her.
if i lose thee, my loss is my love’s gain,
and losing her, my friend hath found that loss;
both find each other, and i lose both twain,
and both for my sake lay on me this cross.
but here’s the joy; my friend and i are one;
sweet flatt'ry! then she loves but me alone.

when most i wink, then do mine eyes best see,
for all the day they view things unrespected;
but when i sleep, in dreams they look on thee,
and, darkly bright, are bright in dark directed.
then thou, whose shadow shadows doth make bright—
how would thy shadow’s form form happy show
to the clear day with thy much clearer light,
when to unseeing eyes thy shade shines so?
how would, i say, mine eyes be blessèd made
by looking on thee in the living day,
when in dead night thy fair imperfect shade
through heavy sleep on sightless eyes doth stay?
all days are nights to see till i see thee,
and nights bright days when dreams do show thee me."

Writes..."Sonnets 1-10"

sonnet 1

"i stopped dreaming about a perfect love...
imperfect men deem such exploits a waste...
and i stopped praying for strength from above...
to endure life without having a taste...
i try not to think 'bout times in the past...
when "she" and i and love had made a three...
foolishly wistful that it didn't last...
an ever after we'd live happily...
i don't long for past experiences...
with someone i've loved, though i'd loved them well...
my thinking's more towards other tenses...
presently avoiding a future hell...
alive, yet when does living truly start...
only when lovers share a loving heart..."

sonnet 2

"she dreamed of love at times she dreamed of me...
when she closed her eyes it was my face shown...
she'd deemed being my heart what life should be...
feelings of passion that she'd never known...
only dreamed of love when i dreamed of her...
she's the vision that i'd seen in my head...
i wish we had been better than we were...
when an "us" had involved others instead...
we dreamed of love when we dreamed about us...
a man wanting a woman wanting him...
my desire for her equaled her lust...
an intimacy that'd eluded them...
we've stopped dreaming now; i'm holding her hand...
living's for lovers loving all they can..."

sonnet 3

"how do you write of one you've never kissed...
not having done it, aren't they merely lines...
what does one pen when you've never pressed lips...
in terms of love, what actually defines...
a word as you commit one to an ode...
for someone worthy of more than a few...
how do you say that you've wanted to hold...
a girl you've wanted to be closer to...
you start by taking feelings from your heart...
and letting emotions flow on a page...
i think that constitutes a decent start...
because i use revealing prose to gauge...
her interest in something i've never said...
since i've never shared the things in my head..."

sonnet 4

"i told her i loved her and she took off...
leaving me and my words in wintry air...
a chilling breeze brings with it sickly cough...
that and heartache are a punishing pair...
it always seems like my words ring hollow...
having been spilled from my heart to her ears...
i wonder why her footsteps won't follow...
a path that leads to where my love appears...
i stand alone with a heart left broken...
with nothing to do to change how things are...
'cause she's scared of a promise i've spoken...
from me, she's let that fear take her afar...
but i love her so i'll be here waiting...
writing the thoughts my heart has been stating..."

sonnet 5

“stand before a mirror, what do i see?
an image of what: good fortune or health?
no, she’s gone; i’m missing a part of me…
yes, she’s gone; i’m but a shell of myself…
yesterday’s a past when she’d been my heart…
a time i loved her despite not knowing…
there’s pain in loving her when we’re apart…
and heartache when emotion’s not showing…
tomorrow’s a future that now seems lost…
as i wonder just why she’s gone away…
why she’s still searching when our paths have crossed?
to keep running when i wished that she’d stay…
stand before a mirror, i’m here alone…
reflecting on reflections of my own…”

sonnet 6

“girls got me thinking: “become more shifty”…
fucking with oysters without any pearls…
as for life mantras, i’ll invert 50’s…
it’s paid before laid when dealing with girls…
i’ve penned pretty words to get them to see…
yet i’ve found they prefer i show no class…
don’t nice guys strive to make nice girls happy?
‘cause assholes write shit like they’re after ass…
always been a chaser; a “bud light”, er…
look at that line i’m defaming myself…
bastards write asshole rhymes ‘cause they’re tighter…
i’m writing a sonnet; this line’s the twelfth…
oops, i meant to say i’m after ass too…
when i pen hot shit i’m looking to screw…”

sonnet 7

"drake wrote line 'bout the best he's ever had...
i can't do the same with the truth being...
i'll never know since we were never bad…
if eyes would deem me in her worth seeing…
i’d never advanced past holding her hand…
just once, i’d had her alone by my side…
even i find it hard to understand…
loving despite not having been inside…
i write lines ‘bout the girl i never got…
the girl of my dreams; one that got away…
how can someone be the best when i’ve not?
bedded that someone; or caused her to say?
i’m the best, having seen with her own eyes…
that nobody’s better between her thighs…”

sonnet 8

“on bended knee i promised her my life...
everything i am, everything i'd be...
genuflected; i want her as my wife…
she contemplated, looking down at me…
her tears became a stream that wet a face…
of one i professed love for long ago…
a different time, a different place…
when my heart’d made mistakes my life did show…
i told her then that i’d love her better…
than any before; she believed it ought…
i loved her before any penned letter…
she loved me before any spoken thought…
then promised herself to me in a word…
more tears, then a “yes”, was all that i heard…”

sonnet 9

“sometimes i wonder if love is a sin;
well, not love, as much me as loving her
i ask myself where does evil begin,
if it comes from denying what we were,
or what we should be; this life or the next
is that what deems our hearts guilty of bad?
to convey how we feel only through text…
yet save thoughts one day we’ll pray we still had
some list seven deadly; i’ve found an eighth,
fear’s why we won’t stand, afraid that we’ll fall
we live in our minds to keep our hearts safe;
but isn’t that the greatest sin of all?
hell’s living with words we never enact,
not taking a chance so hearts stay intact”

sonnet 10

“i grasp her hand as we enter the room…
a journey we’ve never taken before…
she’s a vision my eyes seek to consume…
they devour her as i close the door…
night is dark; she offers herself to me…
sliding down the straps of her satin bra…
they drape off her shoulders, a sight to see…
revealing perfect breasts that deserve awe…
with erect nipples excited from lust…
desire’s apparent; a stream of wet…
begins to flow from a place that i just…
whispered to her my touch wouldn’t forget…
fingers roam, her body pressed against mine…
when a mortal meets an angel divine…”

Writes..."What It Is"

“when she thinks of me, she doesn’t think about the past or what we’ve been. she doesn’t think about the future or what we could be. when she thinks of me, she doesn’t think of my heart, or my brain; for her thoughts don’t require my love, respect or my friendship. when she thinks of me, her only thought is an image of me when i’m inside of her…and the feelings she feels when she’s on top of me. nothing else…

she thinks of me a lot.”

Writes..."Evolution"

“people want to know what i’m thinking because they know i've always been a thinker, but the truth is i’m a thinker that doesn’t think anymore. i’ve noticed that most of my thoughts nowadays don’t start with “i think...” as much as “i feel...” and knowing me, they're surprised; an old me never would've said that. i think, no, i feel that's a sign of maturity, at least emotionally."

Writes..."Nicole Simpson Can't Rap...And Neither Can I...XIX"

"she doesn't know i keep her words in my pocket...
they're precious treasure; her thoughts: a silver locket...
that holds a picture of "she and i" in written form...
unlocked it, she lets passion have her prose perform...
reading her is knowing her heart; a love docket...
for one who's longs for her, and all her mind can form..."

again, all apologies to "real" rappers, i'm still just fucking around.

Writes..."Bye Bye Love"

"on november 27, 2011, at 11:47 pm, i was alone...laying down thinking because i couldn't sleep, when i had an epiphany: the sad realization that i am destined to continue spending my life by myself. at first i found this acknowledgment of self-awareness to be difficult to accept, but the truth is, when i'm being completely honest with myself, there's a reality i can't deny: if loving someone means giving all of yourself to them, then i don't think i'll ever love anyone. i mean, i know i never have; and i don't really see that changing anytime soon. i'm scared...too scared to give 100 percent of myself to anyone. too afraid to trust; to be vulnerable; to even be loved. and how can a person truly accept another's heart when they won't let go of their own? i don't know..."

Presents..."A Tribute To Cole"

"posting some of my girl nicole chavers's thoughts...i know, it's about time right? i read her stuff and i feel compelled to write. and being a writer, i think that's the greatest compliment i've ever offered anyone.

a few of her words..."

"when u experience that and the warmth, security and sheer peace that comes from that - when its gone, you notice u can never recapture it...just gotta paint another version. love is couture:) one of a kind"

"i'm awake. i realize, i needed to dream another dream if i was to be happy."

"here's what I know: those we love but don't love us back the way we expect or "need" them to- its the universes way of preparing us for something better, so that when we have it, it'll be even sweeter...."

"just be open to love."

"i remember waking up on my 30th bday in a reflective and anticipatory mind set. i realized, i was in a constant state of anxiety over possible and post change that was inevitable-particularly the last 10 yrs. i had to reflect back because i wasn't able to actually be present in those moments. life isn't perfect. i reckon not many people feel like they have achieved all their goals or gotten to where they need to be. there is however a point in which one should or can become content w life. i once had very specific dreams of what family, success, and love should look like. i think i forgot to anticipate the finer details and detours. because my reality is much different, i feel...unfulfilled and ungrateful. the reality is, i did have all the things i dreamed of, they just did not happen at the time i wanted them to happen. family changes. family separates. ideals of success changes. ideals die. parents change. parents die. love changes. but love, i still don't think love dies."

Writes..."A Love Song"

"years ago i used to dream of finding love...
and i used to dream of being loved...
of knowing how it felt...
and years ago, i used to pray for someone new...
but at that time i never knew...
that it was you as i knelt..."

My Favorite Quotes...V

"made somethin' outta nothin'
well i'm frontin', i was never nothin'
older ladies used to tell my mother ain't he somethin'" - joell ortiz

“we are all a little weird and
life’s a little weird,
and when we find someone whose
weirdness is compatible to ours
we join up with them and fall in
mutual weirdness and call it love.” - dr. seuss