Quotes...Me...III

"i'm not a genius; i just play one in real life."

"who else wants to marry my words?"

"who wants to change their name for me?"

"i'm just like everyone else...except when i say that i'm being sarcastic."

"my genius...my words...my life..."

"i'm special. you can interpret that any way you want."

“people ask me why i always write about love. i tell them because there isn't anything else i care enough about."

“when i pee i miss the toilet a lot, especially in the morning. and she asked me why i told her it's the same reason it takes 4 or 5 firemen to keep the hose straight."

"something brilliant...blah blah..."

"i was reading my mother something i'd written and she responded by saying i have an active imagination. translation: use that brain to bring me money."