Writes..."Nuptials"

“love is a beautiful dream.” - william sharp

"at the front of the church, he stands waiting for her; in a moment so surreal she can hardly believe it's actually happening. she wants to pinch herself; she wants to wake herself from a dream that she's dreamed many times before but she can't. how do you determine reality from fantasy when the only thing you've ever wanted for yourself; that one thing that you felt would make your life complete; is before you? he’s the dream she’s had since she was a little girl; personified. he’s the future she wanted when she couldn’t fall asleep so she turned to staring up at the night sky; tears running down her face, wondering when she wouldn’t feel as alone as she did. or as tired from contemplating why she was. as she stands waiting to proceed down the aisle, she can remember times she would cry out to the heavens because it seemed god had forsaken her; not because it seemed her prayers were going unanswered, because it seemed they weren’t even being heard. she can recall nights where she felt so frustrated and so disheartened that she questioned herself; and she doubted the very person that she was. asking herself: “am i worthy?”; “do i deserve the dream?” she wipes away a tear that begins to fall down her cheek, knowing that those nights are distant memories to her now that the “dream” is waiting for her to stand beside him.

the organist starts playing and the people begin to stand but she remains where she is. she doesn't hear the music. everyone in the church watches her but she doesn't see any of them; she only feels one pair of eyes on her and they belong to the man she's about to promise everything she is and will ever be to. "no", she tells herself; because she knows that that statement isn't entirely accurate. she may be about to promise herself to him in front of all of their friends and family but she knew she had done so in her heart long before this day. she knew the day they met, when he smiled at her and she smiled back, that there was something more meant for them. she knew the first time he took her in his arms, placed her face in his hands and kissed her that they were destined for one another. and the first time he told her he loved her she knew that her heart was no longer her own; that giving it to him would be the greatest gift she would ever offer anyone. william shakespeare said, "who could refrain that had a heart to love and in that heart courage to make love known?" and today, in this moment, she is prepared to be more courageous than she’s ever been in her life. shortly, she will profess that love to the world and she couldn’t be happier about it.

what is love? i could take the biblical route and write that first corinthians 13:4 says "love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud". or i could use quotes from a couple of greek philosophers like plato or aristotle and say, “love is the joy of the good, the wonder of the wise, the amazement of the gods” or “love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." perhaps something poetic like saint augustine saying, “love is the beauty of the soul” or john keats with “i could be martyr'd for my religion --- love is my religion --- and i could die for that.”

but i won’t. they're all right; love is all of those things. but most importantly, i think love is knowing. love is knowing that in another person you've found a best friend to confide in, a partner to build a life with, a lover with which to share intimacy and passion. love is knowing that despite any situation that may befall them, any obstacle that may threaten to come between them; everything they encounter from this moment on is neither about him or her individually. that the life they’ll live will be a collective existence; where his weaknesses and strengths will balance out with hers; where his thoughts and feelings seem to be reflected in her and vice versa. on one accord, even when they disagree, because they both know disagreements are only transient; that the foundation their relationship is built on is based on more than the physical and more than the emotional. it’s about knowing that the love they’ve developed for one another is based on a spiritual bond. he doesn’t just love her because she has the most beautiful blue eyes. and she doesn’t just love him because he makes her feel the happiest she’s ever felt in her life. they love each other because some time, at some point, they both realized they were connected to one another; that being apart from each other was like missing the most vital part of themselves; and having experienced what they could be and still not being together was a fate infinitely worse than the lives they were living before they’d met.


love is knowing…love is knowing your heart belongs to another; and you’re both good with that.


as she stands beside him and the minister begins to start, she whispers into his ear, “i love you - those three words have my life in them”; truly blessed that this isn’t a dream she has to wake from.”