sonnet 71
"just how many women have owned my heart;
possessed one hundred percent of my love?
hmmm...perhaps a better question might start:
just how many women have i thought of,
when i'd professed to be "head over heels",
"completely smitten", or some other phrase?
more than a few, and thus it often feels:
"the love of my life"'s loved me only days...
but what if you just get one love in life...
and if you fuck up, there aren't any more?
bet that belief's in someone with a knife;
slit wrists mean they've got no one to live for...
truth's i've come to realize that's what i think...
only i bleed myself with writer's ink..."
sonnet 72
"she found my thoughts as black as my nails were;
decided that she couldn't continue...
a life built with me just wasn't for her...
to go her own way would be what she'd do...
she left 'cause i keep a "rock star" right hand...
a sign reflecting the darkness inside...
having realized she wouldn't understand,
it; the way she had once felt for me died...
she walks away from me with tearful eyes...
you can't walk away from love without them...
i had them too, despite knowing the "why's"...
"your view's bleak; nobody's outlook's as dim"...
she's right, i look at my hand and believe;
i've found black nails rarely look to deceive..."
sonnet 73
"she wants to know what i want in this life;
if there's anything she can do for me;
anything except for being my wife...
she'd already turned down a marriage plea...
the truth is i don't want things for myself...
that would cause others to think me a fool...
not a fame or an abundance of wealth;
certainly not my own kingdom to rule...
i tell her that all i want is a hand...
a hand in my own; to not walk alone...
for the supply to equal my demand;
a 1 to 1 ratio carved in stone...
our fingers touch as i express my heart...
for my want, does that constitute a start?"
sonnet 74
""i've moved on brian"; said in such a tone...
that with my first name, told me what it was...
when it'd been good, it was "b" on the phone;
now, she was done using nicknames because;
she'd moved on, just like she said that she had...
and a love no longer dwelled in her heart...
feelings for me had proved a passing fad;
the trend o'er the moment our paths did part...
then added, "perhaps you should do the same";
which sounded a lot like: "blah blah, fuck you"...
words that scorch released from a verbal flame;
they singe even though they're probably true...
can't make someone love you; ask bonnie raitt...
even when you thought loving them was fate..."
sonnet 75
"written in a past thought, her heart had said...
that she would always be in love with me...
and even today, every time they're read,
those words bring tears that make my eyes blurry...
but that was before, are they now less true;
then when she had expressed them in a note?
in time we'd each moved on to others who,
echoed the same feelings from lines we wrote...
when her hand left mine, someone else grasped it;
and another took my hand then without...
has our "always" survived those ones who get,
or got, to know what "always" is about?
but in writing her, "forever" was used;
so why should her "always" have me confused?"
sonnet 76
"my life's incomplete, so full of regret...
i fill in its blanks, only to erase...
the pencil marks of things i can't forget;
a mental sketch of a beautiful face...
met her on a "space that was not my own"…
loved her ever since the very first days...
but presently i'm in my bed alone...
a space not my own's next to where she lays...
yet there's nothing i can do to change that;
thus i spend time penning a hidden thought...
the one in which she wonders where i'm at;
and questions why the one that's there is not;
an unfinished man, in unfinished life...
who'd also wanted to make her his wife..."
sonnet 77
"why say i'm the best when it's done for me?
i've never been one for wasting my breath...
don't care saying this shit makes me cocky;
know they'll chant "g.o.a.t." at my death...
that's right, what i said, all ten people there,
will say, "no one was better, pen to page;
he wrote of the feelings his soul did bare:
his words were profound, his thoughts did engage...
we'd only assumed it was just a name,
but there's excellence in his number one...
without the fortune, without any fame;
he had died without even being done"...
so i'll say a thing now, before i pass:
"i've spilled more urine than r. kelly has"..."
sonnet 78
“i don’t give a shit ‘bout what people say…
i don’t give a fuck ‘bout what people think…
like frank sinatra, i do things “my way”…
maybe placed one day ‘cross my back in ink…
march to the beat, well, i’m my own drummer;
which means that i “keith moon” along life’s path…
people don’t understand this up-and-comer,
citing “keith moon”’s will incur someone’s wrath…
because those not like me are not like me…
talented, see what i did with that line?
took a phrase, turned it two ways, easily…
provoking envy through gifts that are mine…
i do what i do, despite those that hate,
arguably the thing that makes me great…”
sonnet 79
“how many times can one truly dream of,
seeing actions behind something they’ve heard?
how many times can one experience love,
a real love with meaning beyond the word?
not sure, but my thinking’s only one time…
do you encounter that “love of your life”;
you see, my heart has me convinced that i’m,
a fool for not making that love my wife…
i met a woman a long time ago…
quickly found myself enamored with her…
but made the mistake of letting her go,
now, wanting to return to what we were…
so i’m positive once is all you get…
when gone, gone forever, having lost it…”
sonnet 80
“smedley once said, “all’s fair in love and war”;
so who’s to say when one crosses the line?
i’ve dealt in areas of gray before…
what is black or white in making her mine?
truth is, love is war; a soldier am i;
and my arsenal’s a paper and pen…
with the objective of making her cry,
from reading something that i have written…
‘cause i use my words to step out of place;
without a care, like i don’t even care…
so she sees our past in front of her face,
does that tactic mean i’m fighting unfair?
wrong to have her remember how things were?
then wrong i’ll be, since i can’t forget her…”
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