sonnet 81
“i’ve heard “you could get the draws for that one”;
‘bout a piece i’d written that’d inspired,
emotions, after my work had been done,
‘cause i pen thoughts ‘bout being desired,
being wanted, when it comes from a man,
and he says the things he feels in his heart…
nothing gets her naked like a word can…
and when “hers” read mine, undressing does start…
well, that’s what they say, to listening ears…
“if they was for me, that would get you laid”;
thing is, i’ve been writing like this for years:
romantic verse for over a decade…
victoria, here’s a secret for you:
“not seen any panties from what i do”…”
sonnet 82
“we don’t talk like we used to on the phone,
well, we talk, but just about certain things…
she only calls me when she’s all alone…
and she’s taken off her varied finger rings…
and she’s taken off her clothes of the day,
with undergarments crumpled in a pile…
she only dials my cell number to say:
“talk me through this, you know it’s been a while”…
i tell her to pretend her hand is mine,
to grant it access to all private parts…
when her words become ones i can’t define,
i’ll know for sure when her orgasm starts…
we don’t talk for real; and sad that i’ve found,
i still can’t translate an erotic sound…”
sonnet 83
"the only person to understand her;
completely; was me, she'd said at one time...
though our opinions in life do differ,
i'm not hesitant to believe that i'm...
still the only one she'd give that label...
despite everyone that has come between...
sharing this connection means i'm able,
to determine what any word might mean;
to see her in whatever mood she's in;
even when i need more layers of mail...
so to still think that nobody's more "yin",
is a thought of mine i'm sure will prevail...
i "get" her because she's a share of "us";
the other half of a partnership just..."
sonnet 84
"it's what i want before this body dies...
a simple thing; to have one thing be shown...
a woman, when she looks into these brown eyes,
makes me feel the love she professes to own,
or get her words to mean something to me...
'cause they usually don't when they're spoken...
so when she wonders why i'm not happy;
she doesn't see that my heart is broken...
i'm not heartbroken, but broken-hearted,
as if it doesn't function as it should...
sad thing is i don't know when i started...
thinking "i love you's" aimed at me weren't good,
or right, but mostly real; they don't seem real;
and i need "i love you's" that make me feel..."
sonnet 85
"the most complete day i've ever had...
occurred today, only in a past year...
and in its reflection i'm never sad;
though in that reflection i drop a tear,
two or three, wet my face 'cause i believe,
i'd experienced happiness that day;
she, having made me smile, then did receive,
a smile back; the reason i feel this way...
in dreams about the first time she and i,
told ourselves we each felt a connection...
i know i became a different guy;
i'd deemed thoughts of loving her: perfection...
nah, in its reflection i'm never blue;
i smile through perspiring eyes; i do..."
sonnet 86
"always contemplate in silence muted...
a question of the utmost importance...
the answer to which, never disputed,
if somebody is asked to take a stance...
i often wonder "who really knows me?"
not knows me, i mean, really knows "brian"...
when a person says "of course i know "b";
then of course i know a person's lyin'...
the real me's, really, a real piece of work...
i need therapy, should be popping pills...
since insanity's a personal quirk;
i'm crazy, never known how "normal" feels...
you know me, then you know help's what i need...
a desperate plea...hold on, i just peed..."
sonnet 87
"she knows i love her, the verb's understood;
contemplated; every day in her mind...
i ask myself does she wonder if she should,
think of words from one once thought left behind...
because i do, i wonder every day...
why any word from me should mean the same,
as ones had at a time my voice did say:
"my desire for you's an eternal flame",
"the passion between us will never die",
or "...feelings for you overwhelm my heart"?
my love's unchanged; though much time has gone by,
though hundreds of miles still keep us apart;
despite everything that's changed since our past...
"i love you's" from me are words that do last..."
sonnet 88
"sad, i believe in love a little less,
every day, less than prior days before;
'cause every day i breathe i bear witness,
to those who've loved but don't love anymore...
yes, i count myself among the masses,
those who've given love one hundred percent...
only to be heartbroken when it passes;
sitting around wondering where it went,
or why it left; answers which i don't know...
sometimes i wonder if love is a storm;
raging; but eventually does go,
i'm starting to think that is love's true form...
one hundred percent, yet i'm forsaken...
the feeling of which can't be mistaken..."
sonnet 89
"not writing in a past or a future tense;
no words for what i have done or will do...
somebody told me that it's common sense,
to write what i'm presently going through...
and presently i'm a bit of a mess,
though "bit" is an understatement i know...
i'm unhappy, my life's so full of stress,
but i'm not really clear on the why's though...
all i know is that changes are needed;
inevitably inevitable;
that the results of good advice heeded,
will ensure that one day i'll be able...
to say i made myself happy somehow...
future words in a past tense towards now..."
sonnet 90
"i feel a part of myself is missing...
and right now i am somewhat incomplete...
it's less than excellence that i'm pissing;
i'm leaving urine droplets on my feet...
oops, what i meant is my work seems lacking,
and certainly not that i can't pee straight...
i can't pee straight 'cause of what i'm packing:
an underfed dick somehow overweight...
ha ha, i've digressed, point is what i write...
comes from a place that's currently without;
i can't figure out how to get me "right";
thus, no inspiration to write about...
anything really than my streams of gold...
and even that's getting a liitle old..."
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