"i am an asshole for saying that, or, i could be an
asshole for saying those words and i'd be ok with people thinking that if
that's what they think. sometimes that's the case when i express how i feel,
and i've already discovered if you choose to feel anything about anything you
have to be able to accept that folks will probably feel something about your
feelings. even if the majority may not agree with me; hell, i spend my life as
a minority as it is (bonus points for wordplay). but it's cool either way, it's
what i believe. just know that i'm not an asshole for using doublespeak in my
quote because i didn't say the same thing twice. well, i did, but i didn't mean
the same thing twice.
"she's chosen to become a better person because of him,
not because of him" - me…again
my point is merely this…
she says she does this now, and she's trying to stop that;
and i can see that she's making great strides to "be better" than
she's been in the past. but she says these things and while i listen to her
talk, i don't hear any of this effort to be due to the overwhelming positive
influence her partner has had on her. i don't know, perhaps this bothers me
because i want to believe in "overwhelming" and it just isn't the
right word to use. to hear her tell it, "nonexistent" would be a more
accurate adjective for describing his affirming qualities. so not
"because of him", or the uplifting presence he instills in her, the changes
she's making in her life can be attributed to her realization that there is no
positive and that only by working on herself can she attempt to find some sense of
balance between them...well, until she does those things because of him.
but people don't change, look at me. i said i was an asshole and this thought serves as proof."
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