Writes..."Oleander...Why I'm Here"

"i'm sitting here contemplating life cause i'm a cliché, trying to figure out what the fuck i'm doing here. not here in this city, but here on this earth? i'm rodin's "the thinker", only in a bald black guy not looking like he's taking a number two form. why am i still alive when so many of my contemporaries, so many of my friends have passed on? i don't know. maybe i die in a horrific skydiving accident i'm never gonna attempt. or drown tragically swimming in an ocean i'm never getting in. people tend to say that they have eluded death because god has a plan for them, some thing they're fated for before they die. what if it's not fated for but fated to? fate... destiny... i'm still here because i'm destined for someone that i'm not with and i've been afforded another opportunity to fix that. funny how i just "quantum leaped" into my own life. boy meets girl. boy loves girl. boy loses girl. boy still loves girl. girl finds boy. boy still loves girl. boy... girl... me... her... i'm here to atone for past transgressions and make us good again. maybe even better than before. if god's plan is for me to still be here, that's how i'll spend my time."