Writes..."Babies Being Born Wearing Ice Skates"

"i'm standing outside, it's midnight and the wind blowing past my fucking ear is making me shiver. it really is too cold to be out here freezing my ass off for no reason. and looking up at the sky is no reason. and writing this thought is no reason. yet here i am, putting sperm on ice, contemplating life. i bet confucius and socrates never suffered like this for their thoughts. wait, strike that last statement from the record, i remember how socrates died. removing foot from mouth as we speak. so it could be worse, plus if i ever want kids in the future all i have to do is unthaw my scrotum. here's to babies being born wearing ice skates! but back to contemplating life cause now i remember why i am outside. it's always the same thing. why do i always feel so alone? i say i'm an island and people laugh but they don't understand. john donne said, "no man is an island...blah blah some more stuff." well if that's true i must not be a man cause i'm surrounded by an ocean of loneliness. i used to think it was because i'm kinda different and i hadn't met anybody like me. but that can't be it because as unique as i think i am, what i want for myself isn't unique at all. to feel connected to other people and i don't. i mean i'd get it if i was an asshole and people couldn't stand me. but i'm not that big of an asshole. i'm pretty likable. likeable? lickable? whatever, semantics. so what's the reason i'm outside fighting hypothermia, looking up at a million stars and asking myself why i feel this isolated with so many people around? 'cause apparently i'm not socrates or ready for the hemlock. i gotta deal with this solitude. pray about it they'd say if i told them. for?! i can see me now, genuflecting by my bed, "dear lord, please forgive me for being so lame, that in a world you created that almost seven billion people populate, i stand alone both literally and figuratively. amen." cause that's pretty much how that prayer would go. so i don't waste my breath or god's time. writing this plus me telling the story the other day reminded me of something that happened in ninth grade english. we had just read "flowers for algernon" and our teacher passed out papers with outlines of t-shirts on them. our assignment was to design a shirt that would express how insignificant we all were in the grand scheme of things. so i draw a pair of lips and wrote "i suck" on mine. i know, brilliant right?! i thought so. you would not believe how much trouble i got in for that. they say genius is never recognized in its own time. i wonder if confucius or socrates would gotten in trouble like i did. they probably would have been looked at as 14-year-old smartasses just like me. but when i stand outside at night and look at the stars in the infinite sky, i think about the idea for that assignment and realize that nobody's insignificant. everyone has a role. shakespeare said, "all the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages." it's just that i'm tired of only doing monologues."