Writes..."What Can I Do For You?"

"we met towards the end of march in 2007, i want to say the 23th but it could have been the 26th, i'd have to check my myspace account be sure. our first conversation; spaced out between days because we were communicating through messages and i didn't have internet access at home. i had to talk to her when i could and that was only when i was at the library and we were both online. but even when we weren't, it was exciting to sit down and see she had written me the day before and to know that she was waiting for a response from me. we did that for a couple weeks, even after she had given me her number and asked me to call her. there's something about corresponding like we did through writing that i find compelling; it had a kind of "passing around 'do you like me, check this box' notes in junior high school" feel to it. wondering if she liked what i had written or what she was going to say next. it wasn't something i normally did but i have been blessed because i stepped "the hell outside the box".

sometime during that first conversation she had mentioned that she wasn't the "average" woman, so i asked her to describe what she thought the "average" woman was. when she told me i discovered her to be a person who thought a lot like i did; definitely someone worth getting to know better. i liked the things she had to say about herself; that she wasn't materialistic; or worried about her image; that she was doing for herself. i'll never forget when she said, "i always ask the question to the other sex.."what can you do for me that i can't do for myself?" and if your answer starts with a "i can't buy", or "sex" your eliminated by default...lol!" and i remember laughing, thinking: "i can't buy but that isn't some shit i'd just volunteer to someone, that's some shit they would have to discover. and sex? again, not something i'd just put out there, even if it had been on my mind". but at the time i wasn't even thinking about sex. i was all about establishing a relationship with a woman; it hadn't been rooted in my mindset so it wasn't something i worried about.

so no, i didn't answer her question with "i can't buy" or "sex"; if fact i don't think i answered her question at all. actually, i don't remember her asking me so i never really thought about it back then. what could i do for her that she couldn't do for herself?

four years later, i guess i'd say the same thing now that i would have said then, you know, if she had actually asked me. i'd tell her that knowing that she cares more about others than herself; that she's not materialistic or worried about her image; and that she's doing for herself; makes her sound like a woman worthy of a man that loves her with everything that he is. "what can i do for her that she can't do for herself?" i can love her the way she deserves to be loved."