"it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that i really only write about me and the things that i'm going through. i mean, like the situations in my posts are either things i've experienced personally or my perspective on what did, may or could have happened in those situations. i guess my point is, to read my blog posts is to know who i am and what i'm about as a person. what i write is insight into the real "brian wilson", based on the daily events of my life. for those who are interested, it's brian in real life...
and in real life every time someone asks me what i'm looking for in a woman, and believe me people ask a lot, maybe it's because i'm thirty-one and single or because they know that i want someone to share my life with, i tell them all the same thing. when they want to know if i like them tall, or light-skinned, or thick, i say one thing: "she's gotta be smart". and then they ask, "you smart?"; like i know what that means. what is "me smart"? am i even "me smart"? smart like "my iq's 155" smart? smart like "i can recall a lot of seemingly useless stuff" smart? or smart like "i quote oscar wilde...all the time" smart? i guess if those things are criteria of being "me smart" then i am "me smart"; but i'm not saying the woman i end up with has to match me in those aspects in order for us to be together. there aren't many people like me out there and to be honest, coupling with someone who does the exactly same things i do intellectually would probably be a little boring at first, and then, annoying. let's just say i want a woman who isn't complacent with what she already knows and has an open mind to learning new things; plus, she can offer me insight into subjects i have little knowledge about. because as smart as i am, i don't know everything.
i remember having such a conversation with my mother in 1999. when i was growing up we never really talked about girls or relationships, so i don't even think she knew what i looked for in a woman. she probably knew when i liked someone but probably never why i did. i don't know if i had an established profile for what i was looking for then.; in fact, i still don't have one. tall, short, skinny, thick, light, dark; the only constant between me and women has been stimulating conversation. my thinking's always been if you don't have anything intelligent to say, we don't need to be talking; and that still rings true.
my mother and i had been discussing this situation concerning me and a fellow employee at the nursing home i worked for; about how she liked me and how i wasn't seeing the obvious signs she was putting in front of my face. i don't know, i probably saw them, but at 19 i was still in my "i'm not really feeling you like that but i won't tell you" stage of my life (hopefully that's only a stage, that remains to be seen). i mean she was cool and a good person and all, but she wasn't for me. i mean, other than her liking me and me liking me, we didn't have very much in common. she definitely wasn't "me smart", i don't even think she was "100 smart"; and knowing that was keeping us apart, despite her appealing qualities. when we talked there was never any depth to our conversations, never any culture to our encounters. she was good with what she was and i needed more than what she could offer me. still do.
she's gotta be smart. not "me smart", just "i don't want to blow my brains out when i'm talking to her" smart."
“smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women.” - natalie portman
"you may be right about that queen amidala, but not more than this man."
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