"sometimes i just need to vent, so here it goes. waves of emotion have swept over me like the drowning waters of a vast ocean. i feel overwhelmed by this. like the ebb and flow of the tides, my feelings continue to fluctuate, with only the predictability of actually happening rather than the precise recurrence. but it's not my fault. the nonchalant attitude you give me causes the emotional instability i have. how should i feel when my gestures are greeted with indifference? my words met with doubt? my attitude hasn't changed since the beginning. i've always felt you were my completion. and that we were destined for great things together. you're what i've waited for, someone to love and care for. you're what i want. who i needed, not only to make me a better man, but a better person. but sometimes i wonder is it worth it? is our relationship worth all the behind-the-scenes drama, all the work, the effort? but only for a second, because i already know that it is."
6-2-00 (originally...)
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