Writes..."On Platonic Relationships...III"

"i'm going to try something different today. i'm actually gonna post the thing i was ranting about right before i fell asleep this morning. i don't even know why i was ranting about it. the curse of genius i guess, too many thoughts, too little brain. hey, that's mine einstein (laugh). i know i probably shouldn't, especially not the way i did it, but whatever...i just wish it was verbatim 'cause it was kinda funny to me when i was saying it.

i keep thinking about the relationships i have with women and the rant i posted on the word "platonic" last year and the connection between the two today, as opposed to how i felt when i wrote that note. and i realize my feelings are not all that different. getting treated like the "gay best friend" when it comes to females, not that i'm saying i have a problem with gay people 'cause i don't. i'm just not and shouldn't be treated as such. i realize you've got problems, shit, i've got problems. everybody's got problems. and i'm a good listener, at least that's what they told me when i was a peer mediator in high school. (laugh) but i don't know how much i like women telling me about their sex problems. telling me you need some dick in your life like i don't have working genitalia that gets turned on by breasts and pussy is sort of a kick to the nuts. and not in the good way (laugh). i hate to keep beating a dead horse with this point (and no, that's not a euphemism) but again i gotta say, "i'm no fucking eunuch". (checking the boxer briefs...) pen-is...check, scrot-um with two fully operational balls...check (laugh). i mean, you can get fucked (not laughing), your mom can get fucked (still not laughing), if your grandma can still get her shit wet, she can get some too (laughing out loud). you say you need some dick in your life, put this one in your hand. hell, put it somewhere in you. i know, i know, this shit is vulgar. is it "lil wayne, i bring her to my bedroom and pop that pussy" vulgar? i don't know, probably. but does its vulgarity make it any less true? no, it doesn't. does it make me an asshole? it does if you ask the right person.

i really need to stop using "you" and "your", this post isn't written for anyone in particular. or anyone at all for that matter. i'm only posting it to serve two purposes: one, just getting the information out there that i am a fully-functional male with male parts and two, i am checking to see if i'd actually use two of those parts and post something that would be uncomfortable to read because it's so unlike even other thing i've put here on my blog. but like vince mcmahon says, "i got balls the size of grapefruits!" or ac/dc: "i've got big balls; oh, i've got big balls; and they're such big balls; dirty big balls...." so i'm posting, damn the consequences (there aren't gonna be any consequences)! like the nationwide "world's greatest spokesman" says, "hook, line and sinker...done"."