Re-Writes..."October 29, 1995"

"to a woman i've known since the eighth grade. this is for you. this is about you. and you know who you are. at least you should.

i remember it was close to the beginning of our junior years in high school. it was the end of october, to be more specific. october 29, 1995, exactly. in the week leading up to this date, i recall you telling me that you were trying to get back into the church thing. trying to make religion a more integral part of your life. and i remember there being a sparkle in your eyes when you said this. i think because of the sincerity in your quest to know more about jesus. i mean we talked about this all the time and i was glad you were so interested in this area of your life. and then i remembered that my church was going on a bus trip to mansfield, in order to see this museum that featured lifelike statues displayed in various scenes from the bible. october 29, 1995. you don't know how nervous i was when i asked you if you wanted to go with me. i think i sweated and stuttered and stopped breathing for a second. but when you said you did, i was ecstatic, at least on the inside. and it's a good thing you said yes because i wasn't going if you weren't coming with me. i mean i hadn't even paid for my ticket yet. but you said yes and during the week we kept in contact on the phone, ironing out the details with our mothers. so on october 29, 1995, i came over to your house to pick you up. i knocked on the door and nobody answered. man, disappointment began to creep in, until the door opened and i saw your smile, while the rest of your body remained hidden behind the door. you weren't dressed yet. no problem, as long as you were still coming. while you finished getting ready, i talked to your mother. she was a pleasant person and i enjoyed our time together, even though it was very brief. and when you were ready, we said goodbye to your mother and i promised her that i would take care of you. and finally, we were on our way to my church. i paid for your ticket and we sat near the back of the bus. man, you don't know i was thinking about just how lucky i was, just to be in your company, alone from our classmates, alone together. we talked on the trip but i wasn't just talking to you. i was taking in your essence, like someone takes in the essence of a piece of classical music that seems to have a special significance to them or someone takes in the essence of a painting that completely captures their interest. i was so into you. but who am i kidding? was? please, i still am. but back to the story. the trip lasted about an hour. and we spent that talking and goofing off with the camera i brought with me. at last, we arrived at the bible museum. it was very interesting. and since then, i've even thought of going back. the statues did look kind of real. i wouldn't have wanted to be in that place at night. but anyway, it was a tour. we move from display to display, which were major bible stories in the order they appear in the bible. noah and the ark, daniel in the lions' den, jonah and the fish, etc. each display had buttons that provided a narrator, background music and the statues with voices. i tried to explain things that might not have been familiar to you. i hope that i did a good job. anyway, it was interesting. i think we both liked it. eventually, the church group left the museum to get something to eat. we all were supposed to go to the "old country buffet", but when i saw the line coming out of the door, i asked you if you wanted to go somewhere else. tip for the future...never go to the "old country buffet" on a sunday afternoon. everyone goes there after going to church, so it's always packed. plus, it would give us a chance to really be alone. so we walked over to the "arby's" and order cheddar roast beef combos. it was fun just to eat and talk about whatever was on your mind. so we talked about cheerleading. we could have been talking about tampons and feminine itching, i wouldn't have cared, as long as i was alone talking to you. we sat there at least thirty minutes. then we left and window-shopped at the various stores in the plaza between the two restaurants. after a while we walked over to the tcby and got frozen yogurt. then we got back on the bus and waited for the others to return. taking more goofy pictures of each other. talking about more things. eating our frozen yogurt. until everyone returned and we departed back for akron. the whole day must have been draining for you, you slept the whole way home. and while you were sleeping, i was watching you, watching over you. which made this experience kind of bittersweet. i loved the fact that you went somewhere with me, without our classmates, loved the fact that you could be with me, but i hated that it might not ever happen again, that this could be the only time we'd do something this intimate together. i hated the fact that you weren't mine. i hated the fact that i didn't know if you felt the same way about me. but i'll say the good outweighed the bad. just having you for a day to myself. i loved that. that's what i was thinking the moment our bus pulled back into my church's parking lot. we got off the bus and as we waited for your mom to pick you up, i took more pictures of you. but all too soon, she was there and our time together was about to end. we thanked each other for the company and for the great time we both had. and then you were gone and i was alone. you know, i still have the pictures we took on that trip. and i smile, reliving each moment we shared. thanks again for a wonderful experience. october 29, 1995."

10-30-95...3-31-00