Re-Writes..."Angst Of The Unemployed"

“i know they talk about me. i know they say things behind my back. stuff like, “that boy don’t even have a job, how is he going to take you anywhere? buy you dinner? i know you don’t pay for him when you’re out together.” i can hear them filling your mind with their thoughts. and i can understand their concerns, to a point. even i don’t want to continue like this, not doing things for lack of money and paying our own ways when we’re dining out. i would love to say, “get anything on the menu” and pull a wad of hundreds out of my pocket. but i’m not on that level yet. and we’re not on that level yet. so ask yourself this. has it been all that bad so far? i may not have had the money to afford to pay for both of us, but you’ve never missed getting a gift for a special occasion, an anniversary, an encounter. even though, i never have the money to just spend on you, i always do, regardless of the consequences. there were times when all the money i had was for food but i bought you something, just because you mean so much to me. so i didn’t eat that day. and migraines plagued me over the next three days. but the look on your face, that overwhelming look of surprise, made it all worth it. the thought that i could make you happy with a single impromptu act of thoughtfulness. that you weren’t used to. that you should be. because all of your exes should have been like that. like me. but they weren’t. and now they’re exes. and now i’m your man. so don’t listen to the detractors. don’t let them influence your feelings for me. because soon i’ll have money and we’ll do we what we want. and you can have all you desire. but now is the time for you to realize how i am. that if i got you things when i was broke and made you happy, then with money i’m going to be illegal. it’ll be a crime to be me. loving and thoughtful and paid.”

sometime in '00 or '01, i don't remember the exact date.