Re-Writes..."Cardiac Atrophy"

“if i told her i loved her, you know, like in that more than friends kind of love, would it make any difference in our situation? because i do. i can honestly say if i told her i loved her like that, i would be telling the truth. that’s the way i feel about her. she’ll never know how much i need her. and how i want her. and how much i love her. but i don’t tell her. because i don’t think telling her i love her would make any difference in our situation. and if i told her i loved her and she didn’t feel the same, i would be crushed. and i don’t think she feels the way i do yet, so i don’t tell her. even though hiding the feelings i have for her is burdensome and stressful on my heart. my emotions are consuming me, i need to tell her. but i can’t bring myself to face the fact that she might not love me like that. or at least, not to the extent that i love her. so i don’t tell her. still, she’s told me i was making her fall in love with me. so maybe i can get her to say it first. then telling her i love her would be as easy as feeling that way.”

sometime in '00 or '01, i don't remember the exact date.