Re-Writes..."Wish"

“sometimes when i think back to the time i was a child and that old adage, “when you wish upon a star…” pops into my mind. because i long for a simpler time, without all the complexities of adulthood, the complications of being different, the fears of being alone. so i revert back to when i was an innocent kid and the naivety of being young. and i think to actually try wishing for something. the one thing i have to have. the one thing i think will make me happy. and even though other people believe things can bring them happiness, i don’t wish for expensive cars or fancy clothes, houses or money. i only seek one thing. thus, i stare at the night sky for hours, struggling with the idea that i don’t have what i want. and might not ever get what i desire. searching for hope, some assurance that i’m doing the right thing, that having these feelings isn’t detrimental to my own well-being. praying that maybe one day i can achieve my only goal for this life. crying because i don’t have it right now. since not having what i yearn for, not being content, makes my life a torturous experience. my heart longs for a soulmate, a partner. my heart longs for you. so your love is what i wish for. when i wish.”

sometime in '00 or '01, i don't remember the exact date.