“the romantic psyche i thought i had finally established for myself is being destroyed before my very eyes. or maybe i was only fooling myself. maybe it was only an illusion, some sort of mirage to mask the unknown feeling of love i had. for the second time in less than a week, someone told me that they couldn’t love me because they still had feelings for someone else. notice i said still. but it’s not like these people didn’t have feelings for me. i know they did and probably still do. and it’s not like i didn’t have relationships with either of them. one of them had been my girlfriend and the other one may have become. i don’t know. maybe the timing was just wrong with either of them. and not to place blame, but i am in the wrong for the timing not being good. man, if i thought my interaction with girls was lacking before, is this doing anything to make it better? getting your broken twice in one week isn’t exactly the thing to make one more confident in matters of love and romance. but i seem to be the lord of these illusions. so maybe one day i can create one that lasts.”
sometime in '00 or '01, i don't remember the exact date.
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