Re-Writes..."September 28, 2000: Judgment Day"

“september 28, 2000. just an ordinary day to anyone else, but it’s a date that could bring many changes in my life. because september 28, 2000 is my birthday. #21. an age where things once forbidden become easily attained and are virtually thrust into your face. simple pleasures are granted at will and fantasies are fulfilled. but change will come not just because of my age, but because the day is my birthday and that in itself is the cause of my problem and its answer in one.

september 28, 2000. the day that will determine how i proceed with a girl i like. whether the idea of a relationship with her is as attractive to me then as it was in the past, five years ago or even now. it may sound weird but my birthday will do a lot to help me make this decision. because ever since i’ve met this girl, i’ve always tried to make her birthday special for her. even when i wasn’t thinking of her as a possible girlfriend, i’d always get her something. though most of the time, i was thinking we should be together. and since we were friends, her birthday was important to me. any special occasion of hers was important to me. but things have happened over the years that we’ve known each other that have me wanting to be with her. we’ve grown closer together than we have with others and i long for her. still, it’s never been a given that we would get together. there are many reasons that we may not. and one of them will be settled on my birthday. because even though i’ve never forgotten her birthday, i only remember one time that she remembered mine. and it’s not a gift thing. it’s not a “i got her something, she should get me something” thing. i don’t need her to get me anything. i’m beyond the materialism of birthdays. it’s a “i remembered” thing. the fact that someone cared enough for you to remember your birthday. without you having to remind them over and over. sometimes when her birthday’s two or three weeks away, she’ll ask me if i know what’s coming up. i always pretend i don’t. and she seems to get upset. but i’m just pretending. i always know. i haven’t forgotten since the day that she told me, the first time she ever told me. but when i ask her when my birthday is, she never knows. and that hurts my feelings. because i care for her. enough to actually care about her birthday. knowing someone’s birthday may seem insignificant, but it proves that you love them. and i haven’t seen that yet. so my birthday could be the turning point in our relationship, or lack thereof. if she remembers, i’ll be happy. maybe something good will be proven to me. if she doesn’t, i won’t. and something bad will be proven to me. but september 28, 2000 is judgment day.”

sometime in '00 or '01, i don't remember the exact date.