Re-Writes..."Giver"

“i’m a giver, i’ll admit it. i give and give, sacrificing, in order to make other people’s lives a little better. but i’m beginning to realize that a giver’s ass hurt. a whole lot. because being a giver is begging to get rimmed. it’s like saying, “here’s my ass, violate me. hurt my feelings, ignore my opinions, take, take, take. i’m bent over, spread wide, take some more.” but i’ve also realized i can’t be any other way. i’ll always be more inclined to make someone else happy before myself. even if my own wants are neglected, my own contentment compromised, in the process. i’ll always be a giver. so it seems my ass will always be getting plugged. by some girl i’ve foolishly tried to give my heart to, some girl that doesn’t share the same concepts of love that i do. because i believe in romance and sometimes my own naivety in this area clouds my vision, my decision-making, towards relationships. or lack of relationships. no, lack of me having a successful relationship. so my ass will continue to hurt. because i’ll continue to try and i’ll continue to care, so i’ll continue to give. despite the fact that giving hurts. literally.”

sometime in '00 or '01, i don't remember the exact date.