Re-Writes..."Cry"

“and as my mother waved goodbye and walked away from the door, i fought hard to hide the tears that had begun to stream down my face. i couldn’t explain it, but suddenly i felt so alone, like i was being abandoned. because it seems i have no one in my world. period. no one looking out for me. no one being there for me. me with no one. i’m alone on an island. and standing in the threshold of the door, watching my mother drive away. immediately made me flash back to that day in kindergarten. it’s the only thing i remember about kindergarten. i guess it was that traumatic. my teacher decided to leave the class in the care of some sixth-graders while she went out for lunch. after i realized that she left, i began to cry. i felt she had abandoned me. but eventually she came back and i stopped crying. still, this memory pops into my mind whenever i feel like i’m by myself, whenever i feel this alone. which happens fairly frequently. because it seems i’m always isolated, with no one to talk to, no one to be with, no one to get close to. so i struggle with myself, trying to maintain some semblance of my sanity. desperate not to let these feelings of solitude hinder me. and maybe one day, my life won’t feel so forsaken and my heart won’t feel so empty. because one day i’ll have somebody. even if it’s just one person, i’ll have somebody. and my world won’t be so desolate. and i won’t have to cry like this anymore.”

sometime in '00 or '01, i don't remember the exact date.