Re-Writes..."Give It Away"

“it’s not like i’m saying don’t have sex. because i’m not saying that. and i’m not saying i wouldn’t have sex right now if the opportunity presented itself to me. because im really not saying that. sex isn’t bad. sex is a wonderful experience shared between two people who love each other. or at least, that’s what i think. which is why i don’t understand the casualness people give their shit away with, especially when giving it away for the first time. people seem to be in such a hurry to fuck or get fucked. it’s like, “you like me, let’s fuck”. “i have a nice smile. thanks, let’s go have sex.” yeah, i know it’s pleasurable. okay, i know it feels good. but to give it away to just anybody, just to have done it, or the status of someone who is doing it, i don’t understand that. i could be like god or the bible says blah blah, and i believe it, but i don’t think that’s the reason i’m not having sex. notice i didn’t say i haven’t had sex, i said i’m not having sex. i believe i’m not having sex for two reasons. the first reason i think i’m not having sex is because i don’t think i’m responsible enough to handle it. if the girl i was having sex with became pregnant, right now i couldn’t take care of her, the baby, or me. and i’m not ready to be a father. or a husband. because when my girl or wife or whatever becomes pregnant, i want to be in the best position possible, in every aspect of life, to raise my child. but right now i’m not. and i’m not as willing as others to take that chance. the second reason i think i’m not having sex is the fact that i’m a romantic and still believe in finding that special someone to share the whole sexual experience with. with feelings of love involved and that spiritual connection between two people formed. not casual fucking. i mean, i could go out and fuck some girl. tell her she had a nice ass at 8:00, feed her some other lines around 9:00, and be in her most intimate of areas (shit) by 10:00. but i don’t want to just fuck some girl. because i don’t just want to make love to a woman. i want to share love with a woman. experience love with a woman. and how special is it when 200 other women can say they’ve each had what i want the one i finally find to love to know is ours and ours alone. so for now i abstain and save myself the trouble of 200 women telling me they’re carrying my baby and waiting for my child support check.”

sometime in '00 or '01, i don't remember the exact date.